Thursday, January 5, 2012

Talk Me Into Being Crazy

I don't know why but I seem to have the hardest time NOT letting people talk me into things... Like buying girl scout cookies or starting P90X. Last year I let Sassy talk me into training for a 5K and it became one of the best things I've ever been talked into. As she put it "you can keep making excuses or just admit that you don't want to do it". And as I stood there dumbfounded I realized that all I was doing was making excuses. There wasn't any reason why I couldn't run and at that moment I realized that I DID want to! I WANTED a change! So, with the excuses out of the way I finished my very first 5K on May 1st 2011! And a runner was born... Albeit, an overweight runner.


My biggest problem is the food. As an emotional eater I find that when trying to watch my weight I'm actually afraid of food and the power it seems to have to tempt me. I know it's not really the food and it's all what's going on in my head but I just don't understand how I can be afraid of an inanimate object?? I'm so afraid of failing. I know that the simplest solution wuld be to get rid of all temptations but I just want to be able to MASTER food and exert some semblance of self control! Why should I have to put something out of sight to get it out of mind?? I really hop this journey helps me overcome this. I want to find the strength inside of me. I want to be able to put a box of cookies on the counter and be able to leave it be. I want to be able to eat just one. I WANT to NOT want them! (although let's be honest, they ARE girl scout cookies) I want to someday be able to look at a box of cookies and not feel the need to fill myself and fill the void with food. If someone asked me what I would attempt to do if I knew I could not fail, this would be it. I wouldn't want to master an impossible human feat, I wouldn't think about truning lead into gold or stone to water or parting the Red Sea. If I KNEW I couldn't fail I'd want to master food and be able to say "I don't need this" and actually mean it! So I'm just waiting for the day when my heart tells me I can't fail.

As For the P90X... Well, I might fail at that. Hehe. My friend Latasha wants to start doing it because her husband won't work out with her and she needs someone to keep her accountable. I've heard good things about it and I'm ready to try something new. I'm going to continue to do my easy basic cross fit and some running. Wish me luck and remember,

YOU CAN'T FAIL!!
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4 comments:

  1. MaggieJanuary 5, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    oh my, can i relate. i hate feeling like food is my enemy. and looking in the mirror or stepping on the scale & seeing that my "enemy" is TOTALLY beating me! maybe together we can become masters over food & over our lives? that would be AWESOME!
    good luck with P90X. i have that & the first Power 90 DVDs & i'm thinking i want to do them in succession (once i'm cleared for more intense workouts that is, 2 more weeks!).
    YOU CAN DO IT!!!

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  2. LynaliceJanuary 5, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    Lol we got through about 25 minutes of the cardio session and our butts were whipped. Hopefully we keep it up though because it was intense!

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  3. MaggieJanuary 5, 2012 at 8:29 PM

    You can do it! I'm struggling with food right now because we have limited options in the house. One more day till payday! But I love food and I know it can be so good for you but then there's that jerk food that makes me want to pig out all the time! Grr! I will master it! You can do it! Good luck with your P90X I hear that it's awesome. I'm doing Turbo Jam and I love it :)

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  4. RayleneJanuary 7, 2012 at 5:05 PM

    I learned I like running too, well, jogging. I haven't done it in a REALLY long time and I've never been "thin". You inspire me to get back to jogging. Thanks! Great job!

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